Friday, February 3, 2012

Oh, By The Way...(Rant Alert)

I have to unload so bear with me.  I'll have my tantrum, stomp and hold my breath and then be over it.  Easily offended readers may want to take this opportunity to surf randomly for the duration...

Since I do occasionally read something other than blogs, I really am aware that we're in the midst of the quadrennial political circus/spending spree that somehow elects a President of these semi-United States.  After blowing more money than the GDP of a medium-sized country, it's pretty sure that one of the candidates will either stay or move into the White House and we can all get back to arguing over who's at fault for everything.  Congress can revert to glaring at each other across the aisle and accomplishing nothing just like the last couple of years and all the bureaucracy will be content.  Of this much I'm certain so...

If I might just take a moment out of my usually non-partisan blog time to let all my acquaintances, Facebookers, passersby, email forwarders, spammers, pollsters, unknown phone callers and everyone else who is so wildly determined to influence my vote in said elections're too late. 

Sorry to shatter your hopes and dreams, but I already have a decision made regarding who's going to be blessed with my one, solitary little piece of the Democracy pie.  Not only do I know, but I'll have an absentee ballot filled out ahead of time to make sure that candidate recieves that vote.  Hence, you're only burning up your phone minutes, postage, bandwidth and my inbox space with dire warnings and hyperventilated 'news' of either red or blue tint.  Really...I've thought about it a lot and if you're that interested, I might even let you in on the how and the why of it all but since politics makes for awful dinner and locomotive cab conversation, you'll have to come looking and be prepared to not like what you hear.

One thing I know for sure about me (and there aren't that many sure things) is that I'm an opinionated SOB.  Just ask Chris about that single-minded streak that drives her so crazy sometimes.  For that reason, I'm a tough sell politically and therefore it's highly unlikely that I'll change my mind based on a Facebook or email forward no matter which way it slants.  I'm tickled to have an intelligent conversation regarding politics and happy to engage in occasional sparring over things Federal, State and Local but I'm not much interested in conspiracy theories or predictions of our imminent downfall. 

You might have surmised by now that I've had an unusually large amount of junk hit me lately.  Yep, I've been informed in the last week or so that "only 'True Americans' will forward this"; "the 'mainstream media' won't report that"; and if we don't do something RIGHT sign a meaningless email petition, God will punish us and our progeny forever.  Right after the aliens land and the Long Count runs down.  What?  And could someone...anyone please tell me why I should care one whit about what Trump thinks?  Frankly, I'm weary and my trash folder runneth over.

Particularly fast-laned into my spam-dumpster is the stuff that comes in with 57 prior email headers still attached and the message body in 6 different fonts, usually all-caps (see above).  These are instantly zapped unread.  I know that I'm rolling the dice here but in all honesty, I can't see that any national crisis has been precipitated nor has any body part ever fallen off or my luck changed due to my refusal to forward this crap to 'everyone I care about' on my email list.  I really love hearing from people I don't see all the time (which is almost everybody these days) but send me something about you, not about a political party.

Likewise, 800 number "polls" with a PAC pitch go to my answering machine unless I feel like entertaining myself by talking nonsense to the the English-as-a-third-language operator as long as possible in order to run up their phone bill.  As you can see, I'm easily amused sometimes.

But enough of this.  The beauty of owning a blog is you get to say whatever you want when the mood strikes you and then moving that, mission accomplished for today.  I'll climb down off the box until the next attack of grouchiness but until then...if we could just take a breather from posting the latest news of Newt's laughable moral standards, Mitt's equally hilarious concern for anyone not listed on Forbes, the laundry list of Barack's latest conspiracies; along with any and all Internet rumors and anything remotely connected to AM radio, I'll be ever so much happier.

We now return to our irregular programming.  Thank you for your patience.


Trailer Park Cyclist said...

You won't get any argument out of me. I don't own a TV and I listen to Internet radio; yet still I am inundated with commercials about people who are of so little value as leaders (or even neighbors) that they must spend millions to gain our esteem.

It is also a little scary that as American voters we have to "trick vote" (absentee ballot) in order to be certain our vote is counted.

I could go on all day but this is your page, buddy.

Your opening paragraph made me think you were leading up to a piece about Lance getting off.

Craftymamawitch said...

It's things like that that make me glad I live abroad. Facebook is my one source of US news.