Pages

Thursday, May 6, 2021

I Know Your Name

Is it strange to sometimes weep? 

I mean...after all, we're supposed to be manly-men right? Nothing as foolish as songs or books would ever faze us in the stereotypical world. Memories of people long gone and hurts from only an hour ago just sail on by without a nod from real men...right? That's what the hard-man, boomers are supposed to be like isn't it? Raised by the Greatest Generation to stare at hardship with steely eyes, unquivering lip and a heart that fears only fear itself. I've heard that over and over for most of my life...

And yet...sometimes...for no good or apparent reason...I find myself choking over lyrics. Or having a hard time blinking back tears because a memory of some old pain suddenly took hold and wouldn't let go. Maybe I've been staring out the window for an hour and I don't know how I got there. Or the mirror looks back at me with eyes I don't recognize. Then some nights are long with dreams that only end when I wake up crying out and can't remember why.

I know the name of this thing. It runs in my family. It has led me to some strange places.